Self-growth From Finding Challenges

Do you ever hear people say that there is always something that needs to be worked on? I find that to be true. I think there is a healthy way to always challenge yourself though. We don’t need any of that obsessive perfectionistic vibes floating around! I am talking about the small daily challenges that one might face and working on overcoming those to better yourself in a way that bring you complete and total happiness. Who doesn’t want that? I will forever be finding new ways to push myself so that I am living the life I want to live.

I was up early this morning to meet Mary at 7:40 for my appointment. I had work afterwards so we kind of jumped right in to discussing this past week and the upcoming week. The big things we talked about were breakfasts and then eating out. I mentioned to her how it has been a little difficult to come up with something to have for breakfast when I know I have a small window of time, such as when I wake up to go to the gym in the morning. I want to come up with a good breakfast and morning snack that is satisfying and gives me necessary nutrients. So we compared what my breakfast was like on a day when I can cook breakfast at home and have an easy going morning with what my breakfast and morning snack is like when I am up early to go to the gym. We talked about a few ideas for meals that could be prepared in a pinch if I didn’t prep my breakfast the night before. Another challenge I still face that I would like to work on to bring more joy and spontaneity in my life is eating out. I haven’t eaten out in quite a while but it is something that people do all the time, so we talked about that for a bit. I told her that my parents and I are going to go out Friday night, hopefully to a new place, and I am going to order something that the place is really known for. That way I can really get the full experience of the restaurant and who knows, maybe I will taste something that changes my life! Mary also gave me another book to look through that she thought I would enjoy 🙂

After my appointment with Mary I went to work. I had my breakfast while I worked.Image I had a great time at work. We got the store completely restocked and then I got some reorders figured out for my boss. The people I work with really just make the day amazing. They are the most entertaining people I know! I wish my boss could have been there though. I feel so bad that he is sick right now! I took a break to have my lunch. I packed some leftovers along with strawberries.Image

When I got home at 6 I had a Kashi bar for my snack and then got started on a few things online for UNC. I also got some work done for the online store for the Bulls! I felt very productive this evening. I was supposed to hang out with my neighbor tonight but he was tired after a crazy day so that didn’t happen, which is fine because I got to watch the Penguins win their game! That and my mom made a delicious dinner 🙂Image

I packed up my lunch and snacks for tomorrow and then made overnight oatmeal for my early morning breakfast before I go to the gym with my mom. Then I work 9-5! I like these weekday hours.

Think it, Feel it, Make it Happen

Happy Wednesday! Half way to the weekend. Is everyone excited?

This morning I woke up and got dressed before I fixed a quick breakfast. I had to hurry to eat it so I could make it to Mary’s by 8, but it was still tasty and satisfying! I had an orange, some carrots, a chai latte and a bowl of granola with almond milk. Image

My time with Mary flew by! I began by telling her about my weekend in PA. I told her about my amazing and spontaneous experience with the guy I met on the plane. Talking the entire flight and then having breakfast with him at the Detroit airport was something that I never would have been able to do two years ago. Two years ago I would have been socially paralyzed by the fears I had with engaging in conversation and just pushing myself to be spontaneous and have breakfast with a stranger. I told Mary how in high school I avoided everything. Literally, I avoided talking in class, I avoided guys I liked, I avoided doing things outside of school with friends, all because I was so scared that body would betray me by showing my nerves and anxiety. I was known for turning beet red all over. I hated it so I did everything to avoid it. I connected it to the book I am reading that Mary lent me: Ask and it is Given. When you want or ask for something in life, you have to be mentally aligned with those wishes as well or else there is no way you will achieve what you want. If you think negatively, then events in life are going to reflect that. So I told Mary how I used to simply have to think about turning red and my body would do so. We talked about that for a while and she told me how people with eating disorders can also do something similar. They can think themselves full. I used to do that by vicariously eating through others or by watching the food network. My thoughts were strong enough to convince my body it wasn’t hungry, even though it was starving. She shared this really interesting article she heard on NPR. Mind Over Milkshakes. After talking about that we talked more about the book I am reading and we looked at one of the exercises in it to help get as close to joy as possible. It was just a really great, uplifting session!

I went to work after my time with Mary and spent the morning working on the online orders. Then I added more product to the online store. My mom dropped me off lunch from Whole Foods and I took her up through the dugout to show her the new stadium since she hadn’t seen it yet. It was a nice little midday visit from her! Lunch was yummy too. Two hardboiled eggs with veggies and quinoa, grapes and pineapple, yogurt and a WhatsoNutso bar.Image I spent the rest of the afternoon taking pictures of apparel and photoshopping it to get it ready to put up online. I took work home with me… I am going to try and get the pictures finished so on Saturday when I work again they will be ready to be put up.

I had a Kashi bar when I got home before I headed out to the barn. I had a great ride! I rode Vinnie in a simple straight rein today and I thought he did very well. There were a few moments when he stuck his head up and I could have used the leverage of the German martingale, but it was nothing major 🙂 Renee rode Ray at the same time so we also got practice with having traffic in the arena. I helped Renee with feeding the horses before I left for home.ImageDark picture, but Vinnie was hungry!

When I got home I watched the Penguins game and relaxed. My mom made a delicious dinner: Grilled chicken, grilled zucchini, sauteed peppers and onions, pepperjack cheese. Then I heated up a tiny sweet potato and topped it with a laughing cow wedge. Yum! Image

Now I am going to go try and figure out if I have the program I need on my laptop in order to get these pictures ready for work. Have a good night!

Don’t Delay: Set Your Goals and Work for Them

Hi everyone!

This morning I tried to sleep in as much as I could before I got up to get my day started. I multi tasked and cooked my breakfast as I got ready for my appointment with Mary as well as work. I made basically an identical breakfast to yesterday’s. Image

I grabbed my things and then I was off to my meeting with Mary! Our time began with her telling me all about her time in New Orleans. It sounded like she had such an amazing time there! She gave me a Praline that she made at a culinary class she took and it was delicious. She then told me about the areas she toured and how she wore a costume on St. Patricks day. I think it sounded like a marvelous place and I definitely wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to travel there! When we started discussing how my week went I handed her the detailed food log I made that also kept track of my hunger and fullness levels as well as the times of my meals and snacks. We were really able to go into a lot of depth, mostly because of the notes I made for each day as well, describing times when I felt like I was listening to eating disorder type thoughts. We also talked about a big thing that I need to break. I have been waiting until sometimes 5:30 to have my snack. The was a rule that somehow was enforced that I couldn’t eat my snack before 5 even if I was hungry. So that is a big goal of mine to break that. We talked about several other things before I summarized how things have been going with Lori. Mary had some great input as well on the whole dating subject as well as hiding in an eating disorder to avoid the things we fear. Before I left we spent a few minutes discussing good ideas for a name for my personal chef business. She is full of such knowledge! Great session! Here are all of my goals for the week:

  • When eating out, don’t fear the amount of carbs, fat, protein in the food, but instead focus on my level of hunger. How hungry am I feeling? What do I feel like eating? How full do I want to feel after I eat? Approach those questions with honesty and curiosity.
  • Eat a meal at the Whole Foods HOT BAR, not the salad bar.
  • Let go of fear!!!!
  • Don’t delay my snacks: eat when I am hungry. NO MORE OF THE AFTER 5 RULE
  • Eat enough at each meal so I am not eating bigger snacks and skimping on the next meal as a result
  • Keep up with my detailed food log. Circle areas where I am feeling too hungry or too full and try and make sense of it

After my appointment was over with Mary I headed over to the Bulls for work. There wasn’t much actual work that we could do, but over the course of the work day we did two interviews, tagged a few boxes of shirts, moved a few boxes out of the way of accounting’s files, and worked on online orders. After the first interview we took a break to have our lunches. I packed a turkey sandwich, carrots and an apple. Image

It was a good day at work, but a stressful one because opening day is getting closer and closer and we are anticipating the move back into the stadium. Of course, everything is up in the air about the day we can start moving things so we are stressing about when the right time will be to pack everything up from the temporary location. It is just hectic.

When I got home I got changed into lazy clothes and then had my snack. I had pretzels, Greek yogurt and the rest of the Praline Mary gave me. Image

Now I am just relaxing on the couch, but I will probably go help my mom with dinner soon. I really need to get to bed at a decent hour tonight! Tomorrow morning my mom and I are getting up early to go to the Y before we both go to work! I am hoping tomorrow is warmer and sunny. This cold rainy business needs to be over! Hope you had a good day!

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

I am going to try out something new. I am going to share pictures of what I worked on with Mary and Lori. Most of the pictures are from my session with Lori. Mary and I usually do more talking and story telling to get our messages across, but I do write down my goals and quotes throughout the session. So I will let the pictures do most of the talking, mostly because I am feeling tired from my very late night last night and early morning. And Madelyne and Matt are here and I want to enjoy their company!!!

Session with Mary

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We talked all about my past week and how things went for me with the power outage and listening to my hunger/fullness levels. There were many other things that we talked about as well, such as a few things that people mindlessly said and that I felt bothered me. Then we also brainstormed ideas about expanding my personal chef job! It was a wonderful meeting 🙂

Session with Lori

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1. I talked as Lori wrote down the things that I felt that restriction gave me and then what healthy eating gave me. 2. Thoughts on the right are ED thoughts and the thoughts on the left are my values that keep me on track. 3. The green writing is a list of all my body concerns and thoughts about my body image, as well as advice to eat less or exercise more. The words in the box are what I feel like I would gain if I listened to that advice. 4. This is a list of things that I can think about to make myself happy and get all of those things from the previous box without listening to the advice. 5. Random quote Lori and I talked about. 6. Goals/ Homework for the week: make a list of each of the topics in black writing. I am feeling good about these assignments!

Tonight

My mom made a delicious dinner of mashed potatoes, roasted veggies and pork tenderloin while Madelyne, Matt, my dad and I worked on sorting one of his client’s receipts!ImageImage Now I am ready to relax and get some rest!

Skunks and Fingerprints

Weird combination, right? Don’t worry, I will explain shortly what those two have in common.

Last night before going to bed I made myself a different snack with the normal ingredients. I made an almond butter, nutella and banana quesdailla. I also had milk and trail mix.Image

This morning I woke up and wrote 15 pages in my Morning Pages journal. I had missed pretty much every day just because I have been busy from the get-go. After every three pages I would take a minute or two for a break before starting on the next three pages. I wrote down some of the random thoughts that I remembered having throughout the week. One day driving into Durham I saw several dead skunks on the road. I then thought that it is possible skunks don’t really exist because I have never seen one alive. They are just decoys for a poisonous odor being slowly released from a “carcass” that has been placed by an alien species. Yeah, I get a little creative with my random thoughts. Another random thought I had was at the Durham Bulls. I was taping a shipping label on a box and noticed my fingerprints stuck to the tape. I then made a general announcement that the recipient of that package could lift my prints off of it and then frame me for murder. That’s just how my mind works when it isn’t being occupied with thoughts about my body image, food, or my future.

For breakfast I made myself a bowl of oatmeal topped with berries, a veggie and pepper jack scramble and a chai latte.Image Then I got all my things organized for my appointments before I did dishes and then got ready to leave for Durham. Look at this beautiful vegan banana cream pie with a blueberry topping I made for my client! I sample it and mmmm, it was good. ImageI gave my client her meals for the week and then shortly discussed a few things before Mary and I got started on my session!

Session with Mary

I think my session today was a little over an hour and a half. Maybe it was even close to two hours? I don’t know, but we sure did cover a lot. After Mary had her samples of the food I made my client we began by looking over my “bubble” sheets (diet exchanges) and discussing what was going on that caused me to fall short on certain days. We were really digging deep. She was asking if there were certain things that occurred that made it hard to fill the bubbles. The days where I fell short were when I had to rush off to the office with my dad and I didn’t have time for breakfast before we left and when I met my friend for an early dinner. So she made a few suggestions of having an “emergency stash” at the office or car. We also discussed how I have been skimping in general on my morning bubbles and then having to make up for it in the evening. As a result my mornings are very light and my evenings are a little heavy, so I am going to work on balancing it back out. We also briefly talked about mindful eating and she gave me a book to read through and do a few exercises. She mentioned how a few of her clients have to grieve the end of their eating disorder so they can officially move on. It is hard to move on when it has convinced you that it is the most important thing to have in life. So Mary told me there were several ways to grieve: journal, burn old things, express myself through art, etc. Then she said it might not even be grieving, it could be a celebration. So that will be interesting to think about ways to move on for good. I also told her all about my experience at Church with the guys. Mary had many stories to tell me about believing in something greater and how some believe everything happens for a reason while other people might not. She just has so much insight, I feel like I could listen to her stories for ages. I also discussed the things my mom and I discussed last night and she had some good advice that I passed along to my mom and then good advice for me when it comes to feeling like I am weak and a failure for restoring my weight, even though I am exactly the opposite. It was a great session! I always look forward to my time spent there.

When I finished at Mary’s I went to Whole Foods and picked up lunch for my mom and I and brought it to my mom’s school. It was a really late lunch, but I still tried to cover all my bases. I had mixed fruit and veggies, a ham and cheese sandwich, vanilla greek yogurt and a WhatsoNutso bar.Image It was nice to spend a few minutes with my mom and see some of the people at her school 🙂

Appointment with Lori

I felt like I had so much stuff to squeeze in with Lori in such a short time. We jumped right in by going over a few topics in my morning pages. I talked all about my crazy skunk and fingerprint ideas and we connected it to my mind just having a little freedom from the thoughts connected to my eating disorder. I then told her all about my experience at church on Sunday. I told her how I felt like I could relate to certain things from the sermon, but it was weird because whenever someone referred to “Him” or said “He” all I could do was think of Eduardo. Lori told me that perhaps it was because I haven’t had much experience with religion and that my ED has been so controlling and it was all I could think of and believed in, that is the only thing I could relate “Him” to. So we talked about that for a while and then I told her about my plans to have the guys over on Thursday for dinner. There were a few random topics thrown in here and there, but I feel like those were the major topics that were covered. There was one thing she said that I really liked. She said that we actually learn a lot just from the questions we ask ourselves. So I think if I just keep asking myself questions I will stretch my mind some. Another good session in the books!

When I finished my appointment with Lori I headed to the Y for a yoga class. I snacked on a Kind bar before hand.Image It was a good yoga class, but it wasn’t my favorite. Maybe it was just because I was stuck in the back and it was a new instructor to me. I just wasn’t completely sold on her style and thought the class was a little on the slow/easy side. But that was probably exactly what I needed and I think I got some good stretching in. It was very relaxing as well, which I guess is the purpose?

I headed home after the yoga class and then finished the dishes. I relaxed for a few minutes and talked to my dad before getting started on cooking dinner. My mom went to the parent group and got home late, so it was a late dinner. I made spaghetti with peppers, onions and andouille sausage. It had some good flavor!Image

Now that I have filled you in on my day I am off to go relax and have my snack! Hope you had a good Tuesday 🙂

Slow Life

Hope you have been having a great Tuesday! Today has been another nonstop day for me. I woke up early in a panic because I completely forgot I had to go get a drug screening for my re-employment at the Bulls. They told me on Saturday I had three days to do it so I was worried I was going to run out of time. I knew if I didn’t act immediately I wouldn’t get it done, so I jumped out of bed and got ready and made it there shortly after they opened at 8. I was surprised by how quick of a process it was. I was in and out in 5 minutes! The drive took me about 45 minutes total though, so it almost seemed like it wasted time. When I got home I made my breakfast since I was in too big of a hurry to eat before I left. I made a bowl of oatmeal made with egg whites, a green smoothie and a chai latte. Yummy!IMG_2375 I worked on the crossword and sudoku puzzles before getting all of the analyses on the meals for my client finished. I then organized the nutritional information, all the receipts and recorded my hours before packing up her meals and hitting the road. I did manage to take a picture of everything I made, although the majority of it was already frozen so the pictures aren’t the prettiest!

  • Butternut squash and white béchamel sauce lasagna
  • Ginger, curry, sweet potato and chicken stew
  • Potato and chicken stew with carrots and green beans
  • Pork chop with green beans and ginger kale rice
  • Stuffed pork chops (feta and spinach) with rosemary roasted potatoes
  • Blueberry tart
  • Peanut butter chia bars
  • Chia and rice pudding

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My client seemed excited for yet another week of meals, so that put a huge smile on my face! We talked with Mary about a few things before Mary and I got started on my session.

Before I do my recap on my sessions, I just wanted to share this hilarious video. Ben Crane is one of my favorite golfers and he makes these great videos that always make me laugh. See, even professional golfers have things in their life that are challenging!

It was a great session with Mary, we talked about a lot of things that I have been struggling with. A few minutes into my session we were interrupted by the delivery of her new kitchen island! I didn’t mind at all and I did what I could to help get it in place. It looks so amazing! She had it made by the Reuse Warehouse and it is beautiful. The top is a butcher block that is gorgeous! When we got back to my session I filled her in on my weekend. I told her all about the challenges I faced with the Krispy Kreme Challenge and having family visit. I discussed how I didn’t stick to my bubbles while family was visiting and how I was a little nervous about the things my mom randomly brought home from the grocery store. I was bad about making sure I was filling out my bubbles on my meal plan and I told Mary it was because I was a little self conscious about filling in my food with so many people around. Plus I wanted to try and eat “normally” like everyone else. I realize now that I wasn’t eating normally. I didn’t have any of the chips and dip or mac and cheese that my mom brought home. I didn’t have a single doughnut from Saturday until Monday as part of my breakfast (while the others my age scarfed a few down in the car ride home on Saturday) and I didn’t join in on having a milkshake when I drove Madelyne and Matt to Cook Out for a late night snack. Eduardo was in my head all weekend telling me I couldn’t do those certain things. And he was praising me when I fell short on my bubbles. I still ate, but I wasn’t eating for myself. I was comparing what I was eating or not eating to what others were doing. I do feel like I was eating normal, but after talking with Mary there were still a few ED thoughts that were lingering. She also said to me “I always tell people an eating disorder says what you are unable to say, so what do you think you couldn’t say?” I told her how I really just wanted to set an example of being healthy for those in my family who didn’t make the healthiest choices. I told her how (I think) it all started for me. Well, I was predisposed by having low self esteem. But it started when a professor showed us the film Forks over Knives and how I wanted to change my diet to be healthier to have a smaller chance of ever having serious health problems. I really wanted my parents to make changes, but they didn’t really so I tried making bets with them: I tried betting my dad that I could go longer without eating breads or processed foods than he could without having soda. I don’t think we ever made the bet, but I acted like we did. Then I became obsessed and it spiraled out of control. We then talked about how I needed to stop vicariously eating or not eating through others. Does that make sense? I told her I have been focusing my restrictive desires on my dad. If I see him go for a few pretzels or crackers in the pantry, or see him go back for another beer, I give him a stare down or a glare even though I don’t think he sees it. We both kind of laughed about that haha. So one of my goals is to stop doing that.

Once I was done at Mary’s I went to Whole Foods for a late lunch. I got fruit, veggies, a turkey sandwich, yogurt and a WhatsoNutso bar. I ate my lunch and read a book I brought with me until it was time for me to go to Lori’s.1-31

When I met with Lori we talked a lot about the weekend and everything that went on. I basically summed up some of the thoughts I was having and Lori helped me to identify the thoughts as negative, advice giving thoughts. I brought my journal that I have been writing my Morning Pages in so that we could discuss them. She asked me to look back through it to see if I had any thoughts that triggered me to have more of these ED thoughts. We discussed my breathing exercises and the different paths my thinking took before I was able to refocus my attention on my breathing. She helped me to come up with a strategy to help me when I am having those thoughts. My challenge for the week is to take a step back and take a breather around ten times a day so I can regroup and come back ready to live in the moment. During my breather I am to assess internal or external sensation that are non evaluative. I practiced by describing a table that was in the room. I wasn’t allowed to judge the table, but I had to describe it. Then I described two different sensations that I might feel when I am anxious or nervous. Lori also is challenging me with days where EVERYTHING I do is spontaneous. From the moment I wake up I am not supposed to plan what I wear, what I do, what I eat, etc. I just let it happen. I asked if I could “cheat” by writing down suggestions on slips of paper and then pulling them from a hat for the first day. I think I am going to have my parents help me come up with ideas because I feel like if I write down spontaneous things to do it will be “hop a plane to Australia” and then I will pull the “the paper told me to do it! I am just doing what I am supposed to do!” card. I don’t think that would work out well haha. So I had a good session with both Mary and Lori!

When I got home I had trail mix and crackers for my snack and then bubbled in today’s eats so I can get back on track.IMG_2386 I then did a little picking up in the kitchen. Now I am thinking I should probably get started on fixing something for dinner since it is already after 8:30!

BUSY Tuesday, Relaxed Wednesday

Good afternoon, friends! Sorry for not touching base sooner. Yesterday was a whirlwind of a day. Is it just me or is it that whenever a day goes by really quickly it also feels like that day happened a week ago? Yeah, that was yesterday.

Let me begin with the usual: I woke up and made myself breakfast as I worked on the crossword puzzle and sudoku. I made a big bowl of oatmeal (made with an egg) topped with berries, a clementine, and a chai latte.Image Once I finished up the puzzles I decided to slice the bars I made for my client. One of them turned out great while the other one crumbled on me. I fixed it by adding more dried dates and peanut butter. I stuck it back in the fridge to chill. I did a small amount of cleaning as well and then I realized I had to run a check out to the barn. I was cutting time a little close because I still had to get ready, pack all of the frozen meals, cut and package the revamped nut bars and throw my lunch together. So I ran out to the barn and had just enough time to do everything I needed to do and still leave on time to meet my client and have all three of my appointments (nutritionist, doctor and therapist).

My client was so excited about all of the meals! She mentioned she had a difficult week and she was really hoping that my service would help her. I was so happy to see the big smile on her face! I hope that everything I made reheats well. That is the only thing I am nervous about. I can’t wait to start planning and preparing the next week of meals!

Session With Mary

During my session we talked about some things to do with my client and then we moved on to talking about me. I feel like I did have much prepared to talk about so I kind of talked about how I love being healthy but a part of me still want to be skinnier. So we talked about ways to love yourself as you are, flaws and all. It is the flaws that make you who you are. Life would be so boring if everyone were exactly the same. She told me stories about how she would look at other people and wish that she had a perfect life like they seemed to live. Then she told me how those people lived a life far from perfect. Sure, a woman can be strikingly gorgeous, but she might be completely empty. She could spent hours on her hair and makeup and be thin and she would truly appear to be “perfect.” But that was all this woman could offer. Her personality was almost non-existant, she had no career, she had no energy, she had poor health and no life. Mary then told me another story about a family they knew who seemed to have everything: the fancy cars, the colossal house with a maid, all the gadgets you could want, etc. Then she told me that the family itself was in ruins. The parents got divorced, the daughter became dependent on alcohol, and their son lost a battle with cancer. She said that those things made her appreciate her life so much more and she told me that her life IS perfect just the way it is, and mine can be too. Sometimes we just need real life stories to convince us that our lives our exactly that; our lives. We must enjoy them and cherish them for what they are. Mary also did an activity with me that brought me back to my days of elementary school. She traced my body on a big sheet of paper and told me to write positive things about myself on it. I loved it haha! Our session had to wrap up because I had to go for my appointment with Dr. Chung.

Appointment with Dr. Chung

So I would say that my appointment with Dr. Chung went great! It was short and sweet like always. I basically told him what I’ve been up to since the last time we met and he checked my weight and blood pressure, breathing, heart and all that good stuff. He also briefly mentioned next time talking about the dosage of my medication since it is not a permanent thing. Bam, just like that I was heading out of the doc’s office. I don’t have to go back for another 6 weeks, yippee!

Since we had about an hour and a half to kill before my appointment with Lori we headed over to Whole Foods. I hadn’t eaten my lunch yet so I grabbed a table while my parents got their lunch (for my mom) and snack (for my dad). I packed myself a turkey sandwich, an apple, pretzels and greek yogurt.Image We ate and talked and relaxed a little before heading out the door.

Appointment with Lori

My appointment with Lori went well also. We talked a lot about what kind of thoughts I have and how often I have them. Then she also asked how often I act upon those thoughts and what values I have that keep me from acting on them. I talked a lot about how I have the thought to cut back on bubbles because I am unhappy and happy with my weight all at the same time. I have that thought very frequently, but because I don’t act on it she says I am really starting to understand what thoughts are healthy for me and wich ones are poisonous. Since a lot of my thoughts are advice giving thoughts (“you should do… in order to…”) or thoughts about what I need to do (making lists in my mind, trying to plan/organize) the majority of them fell under the “mushroom cloud” category, where one thought leads to the next which leads to the next. Then we talked about the thought I have about my future. I tried to explain my thoughts and categorize them as best as I could, but I don’t know if I did it all that well. We talked about school and how I felt when I asked my dad if he thought I should do a transfer application to NC State as backup. I told Lori how my initial reaction to his response, which was “well since you brought it up, yes,” was he doesn’t think I am good enough to get into UNC. Should I even try? Do I need to try harder? But then I was about to have the rational though of he just doesn’t want to see me out of options incase I don’t get accepted. He just wants to see me in school. Lori helped me to kind of analyze those thoughts some as well. I left with a few goals for the week a head of me. I think my number one goal is to just do better at doing my breathing and thinking exercises. I am aiming to do them 3-5 minutes 5 days a week. That should be doable!

Once I was done at Lori’s I had a Kind bar for a quick snack before I headed over to Josh’s house to meet him and Justin for dinner and a movie.Image We went to Elmo’s Diner and it was so crowded! 10% went to my mom’s school so it felt good to support her school. I ordered huevos rancheros and it was delicious!Image I always have a good time with those two. They are quiet the funny duo.

After dinner we went to go see That Awkward Moment.Image {source} It was hilarious! It was filled with “adult language and sexual situations” but honestly that is what made the movie haha. That and Zac Efron. Anyone else a fan of him?

After the movie I headed home and did a little relaxing before I fixed my snack. I had PB2 toast with banana slices, trail mix and a glass of milk.Image I watched Teen Wolf as I snacked and then I was off to bed!

Yesterday was a good day even though I was busy and my eating times were thrown off a little. My sessions went well and I had fun with the guys. Sounds like a success to me!

Relaxed Wednesday (so far)

This morning I woke up and repeated my breakfast from yesterday, except I had dark cherry tea instead of a chai latte.Image I worked on my puzzles and relaxed a little between laundry loads. At 11:30 I decided to go for my 30 minute run. It was a little dreary outside, but hey, sometimes you have to work with what you can get. I thought it was a good run even though my pace was kind of all over the place. Image

Since I was too busy yesterday to get my cross training in I think I will go to the PiYo class tomorrow. I love that class!

After my run I had chocolate milk and then got to work on more laundry and cleaning.Image Then I started typing up this blog before my cat rudely invited herself to be the center of my attention. She has gotten so bad about personal space! Aren’t cats supposed to like being left alone? Not this one apparently haha. Image

Well I am off to go make my lunch and do some more cleaning! I might do some sanding as well… we will see! I hope you are having a great Wednesday so far!