This morning I woke up feeling great! That must be what it feels like to be P Diddy. I feel like I got a good night of sleep for a change. I quickly got ready to go to work with my mom. We had just enough time to sit down and enjoy our breakfast.
Farm Fresh Breakfast 🙂
My mom diced up some of the fresh cherry tomatoes (or grape?) that Amber gave us and she started to heat those up in the skillet. Then we added four eggs (fresh from Marty at the barn) that we scrambled up with the tomatoes, along with some special seasonings. I topped my eggs with a little bit of fresh avocado. My mom stuck a slice of the butterscotch banana cake under the broiler and it created a nice little crisp on the outside and made it nice and warm throughout. Ohmygoodness. Perfection. If you don’t like butterscotch, this would so convert you (cough* cough* uncle Bill!).What better way to start out the day than with something sweet? When we got to my mom’s school there was a thermometer that was in the front office. You will never guess what it read… 49 degrees. And yes, that is in Fahrenheit! FREEZING. So glad I wore jeans and a hoodie. I chatted with Amber basically the entire morning while my mom did a few interviews. It is so lovely to sit and talk with nice people haha. I probably distracted her from the work she needed to do, but oh well.
Lunch, Afternoon, Snack
My mom’s interviews wrapped up around 12:30 and then we headed over to Noodles & Company for our weekly lunch before seeing Meryl. I of course got the Japanese Pan Noodles. I was really close to trying the Bangkok Curry or The Med (a sandwich) but I stuck with my usual. Next time I am getting something different! My mom has been good about ordering a new thing each time. I will get there. These noodles are just so darn addicting! I don’t know why, but it felt like a bigger portion than usual. I got full with a lot left on my plate, but I continued to eat until all but one or two noodles were left because I knew I needed it. My session with Meryl went well. We briefly talked about my mom’s work and about what I have been up to the past week. When I mentioned my trip to Boone with my dad she asked me if it was bittersweet at all. I didn’t really know how to respond. After a few failed attempts at trying to string words together to form a sentence, I was finally able to say that I don’t feel upset that I won’t be going back in the fall. I then talked a lot about how it felt like I was just stuck on a path that everyone expected me to be on. I feel like I have been doing athletic training because thats just what everyone decided for me, and I couldn’t let them down. It’s like I was working towards the ultimate goal of Physical Therapy school, and in my eyes I had to do everything perfect to get there. My 3.95 GPA just wouldn’t cut it, I needed to be smarter. And I felt like I wasn’t allowed to stray from the path that I was on, just because I settled on the fact that I was just going to be an athletic trainer and that I would be fine with that. I do love studying the human body and the muscles and everything, but I don’t know if I really want to have the lifestyle that goes with being an athletic trainer. They have to sacrifice a lot, and there are so many other things that I want to do. I still don’t know exactly what I want to do that will give me the ultimate happiness, but I taking this time off with really allow me to figure out the things that bring me joy in life. I told Meryl we will be going to the beach for a week on Friday, and she said that it would be the perfect time to just reflect on myself and think about what path I would like to be on. I went from being on a path that “I was supposed to be on” (athletic training) and then I quickly went down a path that was bad in so many ways: the eating disorder. I now need to work on finding, or creating, a new path that is truly meant for me. With Meryl I also briefly talked about how I have always had body image issues and have always been self conscious. I remember in elementary school sucking in my stomach as I walked past a classroom full of other kids. I remember wearing a tank top in second grade and hating my shoulders. I remember comparing myself to other girls that I was close to. I have no idea why, I was nowhere near overweight. I was very slim and active and I didn’t care about what I ate or drank even though I was self conscious about my body. The perfectionist in me just really kicked in last year and told me to be the perfect example of what it meant to eat healthy and exercise. Well that sure turned out well, didn’t it? NOT! The perfectionist in me took things wayyy to far. Now I just need to work on not always trying to be perfect. I even had a professor tell me that before when I was questioning something on a test. I really need to relax and just be happy with my imperfections. In fact, I should learn to embrace the things that make me imperfect. I will be able to enjoy things so much more if I just go with the flow and let things happen how they happen. Control definitely isn’t everything.
After my therapy session with Meryl, we went back to my mom’s school because she had another interview to do. I talked with Kate until they finished up. Kate is so awesome! My mom really does work with the best people ever. When we got home it was about 5 so I made a snack that I saw on Pinterest. It was alright, not the best. I think the majority of things derived from Pinterest are all fails so I wasn’t heartbroken that it wasn’t everything I hoped and dreamed of haha. It was a cookies and cream smoothie made with milk, yogurt, vanilla, Oreo instant pudding Jello mix, and ice. I should have got with a Kind bar… No, it wasn’t that bad haha. I would make it again if I had to. My mom and I did some work with the new plan that Mary gave me. I can’t tell if I want to do it or not. It will be nice to know that I can see if I am getting everything I need or not, but then again it requires me to look at labels and look up foods to see what they consist of and what group they fit into. I think I will try it out for a few days, and if I feel that I am focusing too much on numbers or if it is causing me more anxiety, then I will talk to Mary about other options perhaps. But who knows, this could be just what I need to start me off on the right path. What I have to do is bubble in the amount that I have per meal, snack and day. After feeling a little uneasy about the plan, I decided to change my focus on preparing dinner since it was my night to cook 🙂 I love being in the kitchen and trying new things. I found a recipe for mini chicken parmesan muffins. I mixed up the diced onion, red bell pepper, egg, ground chicken, and spiced and then placed the mixture in the muffin tin. I then placed a cube of mozzarella on top of each one and enclosed in within the mixture. I sprinkled each one with bread crumbs and then stuck em in the oven! I put my mom in charge of making stuffed banana peppers. She stuffed them with cream cheese, a little shredded cheddar, and diced jalapeno. We also cooked up some spaghetti to go with the chicken balls. Check out the cheesy inside! I was happy with how they turned out 🙂 I ate a few bites of the stuffed banana pepper, but the cream cheese still really scares me. A few bites is still better than none! I am getting there. I am not sure what I will be having for my night time snack. My mom will probably tell me to have more cake. We will see. I didn’t get a chance to make it out to the barn to see Vinnie today because I went to work with my mom. But I did have fun at her school today!
Hope everyone had a wonderful Wednesday. Tomorrow is my favorite day of the week! I don’t know why, but I used to love Thursdays in high school because I was able to think to myself tomorrow is Friday. That, and the best tv shows were always on Thursday night’s!