I love my Tuesdays. Mostly because I always have such good sessions with Mary and Lori! Today felt extra special though because I got to relax when I woke up before fixing my breakfast. It had been a while since I had my usual oatmeal, scramble and chai latte so I whipped that up for myself. After breakfast I cleaned the kitchen as much as I could before I put together all of the things I needed for my client and for my appointments.
I was so sad that this was the last drop off for my client. I have learned so much from this experience and I am really really wanting to make a business out of it.
Session with Mary
My session with Mary was wonderful! She started off by sharing a few thoughts she had for my business, including how to go about getting a business license and making sure I am following all the necessary regulations. Next we talked about my last week. I shared what I had been up to and how my eating went. I shared my detailed food log as well. I told her about the yoga class I took on Saturday. I realized that I was comparing myself to other women in the class and I was letting that impact my happiness and my eating later that day. Mary pulled out some pens and I began an exercise where I wrote down good things about my current body. I found it to be very helpful and I feel like I could easily remind myself of those positive qualities (strength, energy, consciousness, happiness, health) when I notice my mind going into comparison mode. After looking at my food log Mary suggested that I move my bedtime snack so that I am having two snacks between lunch and dinner because we have been having dinner so late. Mary then printed me out a page that had information about mindful eating. We read through the whole thing and discussed it. It talked a lot about fullness vs. satiety and how mindful eating focuses on feeling satisfied rather than just full. The difference is that satiety includes many emotions and senses that are involved in the process of eating. Can’t wait to work on that this upcoming week! Then we talked all about a few random things before I gave her the samples of the food I made my client. I always love my time there!
I met my mom at Whole Foods when I was done at Mary’s so we could get some lunch. I had turkey sausage with peppers and onions, brown rice, broccoli and kale along with some fruit and a greek yogurt. Yum!
Appointment with Lori
Lori asked me to begin by talking about the last week and how my thoughts on what I have to offer in a relationship have changed. I told her that my thoughts hadn’t changed that much, but that I realized I have all of my personal experiences, thoughts and opinions to offer. Those things are unique to me and it is something only I can bring to a relationship. Lori then pushed me to think about first dates and how I think I would feel and how I think the guy would feel. All I could really say was I would be a nervous wreck because I feel like there is so much pressure to make a good impression and that perhaps that is the reason why I fear dating. Body language/posture was another topic of discussion. She asked me to describe what my posture would be like when I was willing to be open and what it would be like if I was feeling vulnerable or ashamed. That was very interesting to me and I am going have to work on paying attention to my posture and how it reflects what I am feeling. She took a different approach to a perspective about dating because I mentioned how I felt like maybe I just have too many standards and they are unrealistic. She asked me about Vinnie and what I was looking for when I was first looking for a horse. Then she asked what drew me to Vinnie. I told her how I thought he would be a good horse because his ad pictured him being shown, he was in our price range, he was trained hunt seat, he was located close to the area, he seemed like a horse that would be a small project because he hadn’t been shown that much. Then when I saw him for the first time in person I was immediately sold. He looked right at me and I fell in love. After some time of owning him, I realized he was flawed. He was high strung and every single ride was a risk. I was in tears within hours of arriving at every single show because I was so frustrated that he was out of control. At home I couldn’t get him to do any type of work. I couldn’t even go down the road for a trail ride without putting my life at risk. I still loved him through all of those struggles. I just worked so hard to achieve perfection and I never reached it with him. Now, I am having the time of my life with Vinnie. I have let go of all my expectations and I am riding and spending time with him to experience pure joy. It is like I got happiness from not trying to make Vinnie something he isn’t and accepting him for what he is. And we couldn’t be more compatible! Lori connected that to dating and to my eating disorder. I was miserable when I was trying to make my body perfect. I had so many expectations and standards for myself. After letting go of those unhealthy habits I was able to really enjoy my life and myself. As for dating, she connected it to the challenge of having standards but being able to look past them to see what lies beneath. It is when we stop trying to make situations something they aren’t that we are able to make real connections with people. I hope all that made sense. I feel like I just had so much mumble jumble going on in my head and I tried to get it all out at once. Hope you understood all that!
On my way home I had a blueberry muffin Larabar. When I got home I repaired some necklaced that broke before I was joined by my mom. We cooked dinner together and it was delicious! Pasta with a homemade tomato “sauce” and turkey feta meatballs. It was fabulous!
After dinner I got my things prepped for tomorrow. I put together my breakfast and packed my lunch and snacks. I am going to be up early to go to the gym before going to work so I am off to have a quick snack before bed! Hope you had a good day!