One Man Assembly Line

Today was a busy one at my dad’s office. I woke up and quickly got ready before I heated up my breakfast sandwich. I also had two clementines.Image

Within minutes of arriving at the office I was hard at work. I had a huge stack of tax returns to assemble. It was a methodical process of copying, stapling and organizing. The copier and I were close to becoming best friends. Then I called the clients to inform them they could pick up their returns. I got a lot done and I was so happy I could help out! During my lunch break I put together a small plate of cheese nachos and I heated up vegetable soup. I also had a glass of milk. Image

We were still at the office so around 5:45 I went for a pack of almonds for my snack.Image

We finally left at 6:10 and we stopped at food lion on the way home to get things for dinner and a few other things we were out of. Once we made it home I made my client another fruit and nut bar recipe. Look for the results tomorrow!

For dinner I made my parents and I pizza rolls. They were sooo yummy! I was another one man assembly line, using egg roll wrappers, pepperoni and mozzarella cheese sticks. Served with salad and it was a little taste of americanized Italy. Image

So I am sure you noticed that today I didn’t put forth my best efforts with filling out my bubbles. I was just feeling gross about myself (even though I was told by a few people today that I looked good?) and the urge to restrict was stronger than it has been in a long time. I think I was hiding behind the excuse that we were out of a lot of food this morning and the food selection in the kitchen at my dad’s office wasn’t as big as I expected. There was other food there that I could have eaten for morning snack or added more with my lunch or with the almonds I had. I am still trying to figure out what causes these urges to restrict. Perhaps it was the fact that I wore a pair of khakis that I had two years ago (and they fit) because a pair of jeans I recently got were too small for me to wear today. I am still so scared that I am going to keep gaining weight. There’s a whole mumble jumble of thoughts whirling around in my head and I am trying to think of all the coping techniques I have learned from Mary and Lori. It is easy to tell yourself to take a step back, but I feel like whenever I step back, Eduardo takes a step forward. So when taking a step back doesn’t work I move to another technique. I like reminding myself of my values: health, energy, relationships. I have been comparing myself more and more to other women so I think I need to go back to working on self acceptance.

Tomorrow is another full day for me, so I am going to go have my snack, get a good night of sleep and wake up tomorrow with a healthy mindset and dare to be great attitude!


6 thoughts on “One Man Assembly Line

  1. Wel we just got the call, another snow day. I hope today goes a little easier for you, I know u are really trying to figure out a healthy routine, you will get there. You have all of these new strategies, recipes and support. Remember it is a bee day! Love u and hope you get some V time, and some yoga time.

    • I heard you are now in school until June 8th… Hopefully it doesn’t get pushed back any more than that! Thank you! I really am missing my Vinnie time. I have just been so busy! Love you

  2. As you get healthier, the resistance gets stronger too. That’s the paradox you have to live with for a while. Just keep remembering that Eduardo is not your friend, does not have your best interests in mind, and will tell you anything to keep you from being the person you want to be. Basically he’s a liar.

  3. You have danced this dance with Eduardo with grace and courage, so when you try a new step he rages in a fury, he tries so hard to take the lead. You know what, you lead this dance, you got this. You make your own sweet music and dance to your own beat, not his. So when you take that step back, it is only to leap higher or spin faster, FREE of Eduardo. He is not your dance partner anymore.
    I love you.

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