Unwanted Feelings

This afternoon/evening I started to feel really hopeless with no good reason. I completely blame NC State and my attempt to figure out how to log in so that I could try and register for classes. I called and spent a while on hold and was transferred to several people, just to end up leaving a message on someone’s voicemail. I was in tears brought on by fury. I just don’t understand why everything has to be so difficult for me. I feel like I am the only one who has these technical complications with everything that I try to do. It just makes no sense. Why do things have to be so difficult? I wish I could call someone and just rip em’ a new one. There is no reason for it to be that big of a struggle. Anger built inside of me and it made me feel like every option I could pursue would be pointless. I felt like there was no purpose for anything. I didn’t even want to do crosswords or sudoku puzzles because I didn’t have the patience for them. I lost all motivation to do everything. Maybe I could just blame being stuck in the truck for most of the day to my shortness. I am just going to try and get a good night of rest so that I can have a more positive outlook on things in the morning. I am already starting to feel calmer!


Breakfast this morning consisted of a ham and veggie scramble, overnight oatmeal with berries, and a chai latte. Image

For my snack I had another Larabar.Image

We stopped at Whole Foods for lunch and I got fruit and veggies from the salad bar and a sandwich.Image

For my second snack I had yogurt and pumpkin quick bread.Image

Dinner tonight was a jalapeno and cheddar chicken burger, roasted zucchini and yellow squash, a sweet potato and a glass of milk.Image

I just finished my night snack which was a frozen banana blended with peanut butter and a glass of dark chocolate almond milk. It was actually very good!Image

This morning after breakfast I did the dishes and then put a load of laundry in before I got ready to ride around with my parents. My dad had to go to a client’s in Durham but he still can’t drive with his gout, so my mom drove and I tagged along. I ended up waiting in the truck for what seemed liked an eternity while both my mom and dad were inside at the client’s office. Then we went to Costco where we got paper plates, cups. plastic utensils, napkins, etc. for the office so that we can get rid of the nasty old silverware that is up there. Then we went to Whole Foods for lunch. It seemed like the best place where we could all get what we needed for lunch. I fixed my dad his salad before I grabbed my lunch. Once we were done eating I hunted down a news paper for my dad so he could read it while my mom and I grabbed a few things from Whole Foods. Let me just say, I felt like a homeless person begging for money when I was asking strangers if they had change for a dollar so I could get a news paper for my dad. I didn’t really like that feeling, but I got the job done! 

Once we checked out at Whole Foods we headed to my dad’s doctor appointment. My mom and I waited in the waiting room for another large chunk of time. My dad got some more powerful medicine for his gout, so that is a good thing. I don’t know if it has really helped that much lately. He also has to keep up with his diet and exercise plan because he is in the higher part of the pre-diabetes range. I am saddened by that, but I am glad that he has taken control. Once we left the doctor’s we went to CVS to pick up his medication. He and I sat in the truck and worked on a crossword puzzle in the newspaper while my mom waited for his medicine. That took forever as well. When we were finally home all I wanted to do was relax and watch Netflix. I ended up spending a good hour battling NC State though. I tried my best to make the evening better. My dad and I ended up watching Despicable Me 2 which was so cute and hilarious so it definitely put me in a better mood! Well I think I am going to go catch some Z’s now! Goodnight!


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