Great day, friends, great day. I think it all began with last night though. I was almost done eating dinner when I got a call from Josh, inviting me to go to a movie with him and Justin. It was late, but I accepted! We went to go see Delivery Man. It was pretty good. It had its funny moments. I got home a little after midnight and then had my slice of pumpkin pie with some berries and a glass of milk. I slept really good last night too. And I managed to sleep in till 8! It felt great. I relaxed for a few in bed before getting up to fix my breakfast. I had my version of huevos rancheros again. With a banana and pomegranate, jalapeno toast and a chai latte. It was magnificent! Then I did a few chores. I emptied, loaded and ran the dishwasher, did a load of laundry, and organized my shoes in my closet. For my snack I had pumpkin pie and a few spiced pumpkin seeds. Then I got ready for the barn!
I didn’t think today was going to be a good day at the barn, but I was fortunately wrong. Vinnie was just being weird in the cross ties. He would not stand still and he was being difficult when I was picking his hooves, which is really rare for him. Maybe it was because G was in the other pair of cross ties. I’m not sure. It could have been because I took him away from the grass when he had just been put out. I talked to Renee while we brushed. It was nice to catch up with her! She rode G up in the arena so I lunged Vinnie in the round pen again. He was such a good boy lunging! I was expecting huge battles, but he listened better today than he has in a long time. He was really going forward and he seemed to be bridling quite well. He did have more energy to begin with though. He basically went straight to the trot instead of doing a few laps at the walk to warm up. But once I worked him for a while I could tell by his breathing that I was really making him work. By the end of his work out he wasn’t even chasing the cats when they wandered into the round pen. I was so pleased with the Vinster today 🙂 He was happy to go back to his grass, that’s for sure.
When I got home I fixed my lunch. I made a turkey, ham, gouda sandwich that I ate with an apple, carrots, cottage cheese, caramel crisps and cheese crackers. Yum! I then quickly got ready for my afternoon appointments.
Appointment with Mary
My appointment with Mary began with a quick recap of the week with my parents. Then I had one on one time with her to discuss what I worked on from the workbook. She did give me a square of dark chocolate with almonds before we went back to her office though, and it was delicious. Dark chocolate is something I have to eat slowly, it is such a strong flavor it can be a little overpowering for me if I take a big bite. Mary and I first talked a bit more about the past week and then we dove into the work book. I did an activity that focused on recognizing values. There are nine categories with five topics under each one. For each topic I gave it a number (0-2) based on the importance of that value to me. Then I gave it a number on the same scale for how often I would perform something that reinforced that value. Then I would multiply the numbers for each topic and that was the match number (to see how my actions stood up to the importance it has for me). The nine categories are family, friends, romantic relationships/marriage, education, career, leisure, spirituality, citizenship and health. Mary and I talked about each one of those and then talked about which ones I need to work on so that my action number reflects the importance number. I also gave her a copy of my 8 week training plan for the Krispy Kreme Challenge and she said that she would come up with a new food plan for me for next time if given the green light by Dr. Chung. How exciting is that?!?! I am ready for next Tuesday now! Then we talked about some different options for my education. I told her I was thinking about starting back with a few online classes in hopes of eventually going to NC State to get a B.S. in Applied Nutrition. I asked her what she thought about the program over there and she said that it could be good, but it all depended on what exactly I wanted to do. If I want to be a nutritionist/dietician she recommended looking into the program at UNC because it would include the classed needed to be licensed as a dietician who can do counseling. She also talked to me about the Masters Degree that UNC offers and that I should look into both requirements for the undergrad for NC State and UNC to see which one would benefit me the most. She recommended I start by taking a nutrition class first to see if it is something that I am truly interested in. It was so helpful to hear all of her opinions and advice! She was so sweet to make sure that all of that information wasn’t overwhelming me haha. Some goals that I made throughout our session included going to sleep earlier. I just need to either make my dinner bigger so I don’t need a snack before bed, eat my snack as dessert shortly after dinner, or move my snack so that I have two snacks between lunch and dinner. I just need to make sure I am getting enough sleep because sleep is so important for being healthy! Sleep will also be vital if I am allowed to start my training plan! Some other goals are to work on my values and keep eating!
Appointment with Lori
I ate a LUNA bar for my snack while we waited in the waiting room for our session with Lori. When Lori took us back to our room, I began with a summary of last week and all of my social and food challenges. She was amazed at the progress I made socially! I also told her about my short lived date plan haha. But it was good. We talked about how big of an improvement I have made when it comes to my social life. Our main activity for the hour session included each of us writing down positive things or strategies, values, hooks, etc. about ourselves and each other. My dad shared his first and I found his thoughts very interesting. He started off by saying that he think my food plan with Mary (my bubbles) has been the biggest thing to help me with recovery. He then said that I had made significant progress with being social. He mentioned how he and my mom were concerned, even back in when I was in high school, about me and my non existent social life. Earlier in the session I mentioned how I never felt comfortable to go do things with friends because in my mind I was obligated to stay home with my family to achieve perfect daughter status, so I guess my parents noticed that back in those days. Then my dad said how this whole program has taught him to be more patient and how to decrease his stress, not only with things related to my eating disorder, but stress with work and life in general. He also talked about how he felt like he was more capable to recognize any type of issue and do something about it before it got out of control. He also talked about making changes to improve his health. My mom went next. She began by saying how this whole thing has really impacted how she behaves around food. She now makes sure that she eats 3 meals instead of skipping meals and she said in general it is motivating her and my dad to take better care of themselves. Then she got really emotional when she started to talk about all of the courage and strength I have when it comes to battling this eating disorder. She said they were happy tears because she was so proud of how far I have come. Then I guess they turned kind of into sad tears when she started talking about me eventually going out on my own. While she was in tears it made me realize something. I don’t really know if this is some type of self defense mechanism in a way, but when ever I am around someone who it really emotional I feel like I shut all of my emotions off. I don’t know what to make of that yet… Anyways, when it was my time to share I shared all of my achievements (filling bubbles, social challenges, brainstorming school ideas, figuring out my values) and then I talked about improvements my mom has made. I listed that she now talks to me about things other than my eating disorder, she doesn’t hover as much, she has gotten better with her own eating, and she continues to see the positives in every situation. Next I talked about my dad. I spoke of how proud I am that he has quit soda and he is sticking to it! He has also made appointments with a physical therapist and is seeing his doctor to talk about ways to become healthier and exercise. I was so happy to hear that news. Then I talked about how he has been doing a good job of communicating with me and expressing interest in ideas that I come up with. Then we all made goals for ourselves and each other. My goal for myself: BE MORE SOCIAL. Maybe find a fun class to join. My goal for my mom: Try and think of the positive things that will come from me leaving “the nest.” Goal for my dad: Keep making healthy decisions and communicating with me.
Whoo-wee! That was a lot, wasn’t it? Well now that I have gotten you all caught up I am going to go fix my dinner! Later I think I am going to try one of the pumpkin gobs Amber gave me… 🙂