Hi guys! Today was the best day I think I have had in a while! I felt like I was doing things that a normal twenty year old would do. I spent the majority of the day with my new friends, just kind of going with the flow. I had so much fun and I felt so at ease with these guys. I know that Josh knows about my situation with recovering from an eating disorder, but I am not sure if Justin and Tyler know. I didn’t let that stop me from living in the moment and enjoying good food with amazing company! 🙂 I reminded myself that I am not going to let myself believe that others are judging me based on what I eat. Justin actually said something that really stuck with me. It was related to tattoos, but still it was so inspirational. He said “whenever people tell me that I am ruining my future or if I am worried about my future with the few tattoos I have, I tell them ‘I may not have a future. You never know how long you are going to live, so why worry about the future. I will cross that bridge when I get there.'” I thought that was just so amazing to have that mentality. I mean, yeah you aren’t going to go crazy with things, but why not enjoy the present and do what pleases you?
So this morning I relaxed some before fixing my mom and I our breakfast. I repeated yesterday’s meal and had an egg, veggie, cheese bagel sandwich with orange juice and a chai tea latte. I helped my mom with some dishes and then made a pumpkin pie for tomorrow! I LOVE PUMPKIN PIE. We then got my sister a plane ticket for Christmastime so she can visit for the holidays. For my snack I had a sunflower seed butter sandwich. I always forget I have the sunflower butter and I was happy I remember it because it was so good. Then I got ready for my day of being social! I met everyone else at Josh’s house and then we went to Cracker Barrel for lunch. I ordered the Chicken n Dumplings with steamed broccoli and apple slices. They were out of broccoli. How dumb. They brought me double apple slices though. I still only ate one portion of apple slices.It was pretty good and I felt comfortable with the food and with the conversation. I was just so happy that I felt like I fit in with them! Justin ended up paying for my lunch and it was so nice of him! We sat at Cracker Barrel and chatted for a while and then after we left Justin drove us all around. We just went driving around Durham. I feel like there is still so much of Durham that I haven’t seen. We went pretty deep into the ghetto and of course that is when I really needed to use the bathroom. I had to hold it for so long (at least it felt really long to me haha) because they didn’t want to stop at a sketchy place and risk me getting killed. I am sure that was a little exaggerated, but it was a nice gesture. Next we drove all the way to Roxboro to go to Palace Pointe where we bowled three games. I had so much fun and I didn’t let myself get angry for not being the best. I ended up coming in 3rd twice and then in the second game Tyler and I tied for 3rd. They wouldn’t let me pay again! They are just so entertaining haha. Once we were done bowling we drove back to Durham and they starting talking about dinner plans. I texted my mom to ask if I should do dinner with them and her and my dad said that yes I should, so I did! We went to Harris Teeter and picked out meat to grill and some sides to go along with it. Tyler and I picked out some nice looking filet mignon and then we got some potatoes, asparagus and texas toast.I marinated the asparagus in balsamic vinaigrette and then Josh’s dad put some amazing seasonings on the steak. It all turned out so delicious and I was so proud of myself for not restricting or avoiding any of the foods that we prepared. It was so funny, on the way to Harris Teeter I said that I was going to pay for groceries since they wouldn’t let me pay for anything else. They all went on to say that I was their guest and that I would never pay for anything when I was with them. I asked when I wouldn’t be considered a guest anymore and they said technically now, but that I still wasn’t allowed to pay for anything. They called it the law. They are just too nice to me. 🙂 I felt so normal today and it was a great feeling. The only bad thing was that I didn’t have my second snack. I would still consider today to be a tremendous success because I pushed myself socially (and I ended up being completely comfortable) and I had 2 meals in a row that had me out of my element. It was almost like a nice little friendsgiving (Thanksgiving with friends) before the big Turkey Day tomorrow.
Tomorrow I think my parents and I are just going to relax and cook up some traditional Thanksgiving foods. I am going to try and finish my closet and then I would like to go see Vinnie since I haven’t been the past couple days. I just hope the weather is better! I have had enough of this rain!
What are your Thanksgiving Plans?
P.S. Sorry for not having pictures of my breakfast or snack. My computer is being slow again and not wanting to upload the pictures on my computer that are from my camera. So only iPhone photos made it on the post today, and that was because I uploaded them into the post from my phone. Oh technology…