When The Going Gets Tough…

When the going gets tough, the tough get going I kick some major ass. I just had my worst day with Vinnie in a long, long time. I was so excited to see him today because I was going to lunge him with my new saddle! I was expecting him to be perfect. I feel like I have just waited so long and I have put so much time into him over the years that I felt like I deserved to have him be all I wanted him to be. There I go again, wanting to control the uncontrollable. I just wanted a switch to flip and I wanted everything to be easy and effortless. Sound familiar? Those were my exact thoughts on my recovery from my eating disorder. When I first started my recovery I was waiting for a switch to just be flipped off that would magically make me go back to normal. There is no such switch. Apparently there isn’t one for Vinnie either. Maybe I was just getting ahead of myself and taking things too fast for him? I don’t know. I will just have to do this every day I can until he breaks his habits of trying to get out of work. So, like I said, I wanted to lunge him with his new saddle on today so that he could get used to having all the tack on. I put his bridle on and loosely buckled his reins back. I hooked the lunge line up to his halter just so that I wouldn’t be putting much pressure on his mouth. The first minute lunging went great! That was just walking though. He wasn’t scared of the far end of the arena so I thought today was going to be the best day ever. I asked him to trot and he went maybe half a circle around before he suddenly switched directions (turning away from me, showing me his butt). I turned him back around and then asked him to go forward. He continued to do this turning thing over and over. I was really starting to get fed up. One time he turned and I was trying to get him to turn back around and then all of a sudden he just took off. I barely had any time to comprehend what was happening. I was trying to keep hold of the lunge line to get him back under control, but he was just moving too fast. Let’s just say I ate some major sand and I got horrible rope burn from the edge of the lunge line. Yeah, that felt great. (My mom just read me this quote “even if you fall on your face you are still moving forward) I had to let go of the lunge line and Vinnie was running around the arena acting like his old crazy self. Despite having all his tack on and a long lunge line dragging behind him, I though he looked very pretty and Arabian-esque galloping around the arena. I easy got a hold of him but then broke out in tears. I was so disappointed. The expectations I had for him clearly weren’t realistic and I was upset with him and with myself for being so hopeful. My hand kind of hurt as well. So after blubbering like a baby for a few minutes I was on a mission to make Vinnie do what I wanted. It wasn’t an easy battled and it probably could have ended very differently, but I was assertive and showed him that I meant business. I was sure to end on a good note. I looked at my phone and saw my cousin, Madelyne, called me so I called her back and sat on the stool in the arena and made Vinnie stand there while I talked with her. I miss her so much and I can’t wait to see her in December! I was pushing Vinnie’s patience but I didn’t care. I wanted him to learn I was still in control even though he was done lunging.

Vinnie in his new saddle:Image

My gruesome battle wound:ImageE’s and A’s


Butternut squash parpadelle and pork on a bed of wilted spinach.Image Perfect dinner from last night. I feel like I am becoming quite the little chef 🙂 That makes me happy even if it is in my imagination.

My snack was a chocolate chip pumpkin muffin and a glass of milk. The plastic wrap I had over my muffins is weak sauce and wan’t really covering them so they sadly went stale.

Breakfast this morning:Image Spinach egg scramble with cheese on top, grapes and pomegranate arils, chocolate cranberry roll and cinnamon cream cheese all with a cup of raspberry tea. I was in a huge rush this morning because we were running very late. I was freaking out. I just hate having to rush and I found myself grabbing things to mimic yesterday’s morning so I could easily fill my bubbles. I of course had a few alterations.

My snack at the office was Cheerios (that my dad nicely pointed out had expired) with spiced pumpkin seeds and vanilla yogurt.Image

We were back home for lunch and I made a tasty turkey cheddar sandwich and had it with an apple, carrots, pretzels and milk.Image

Second snack was lemongrass chicken stix from Trader Joe’s.Image These have been chillin’ in the freezer for a while now so I thought it was time to bust them out. Even though was feeling kind of down about Vinnie, I knew I couldn’t let that cause me to slide backwards in my progress. When I get upset like that, eating isn’t the first thing on my mind, but I made sure I still did, so yay for me!


This morning was a mad rush. Ugh, hated it. I ate my breakfast in the truck on the way to work and then once we got to the office I did hard core cleaning. I started by collecting all the garbage and then vacuumed every nook and cranny. That place was filled with dust and tiny hidden cobwebs! I rearranged on of the offices so that it didn’t feel quite as cluttered where clients were supposed to sit while they are meeting with my dad. It was a small change but a huge improvement. Then I got to work on the kitchen… So nasty. I cleaned the sink, counters and cabinets. Honestly, everything in there just needs to be thrown away and replaced. I wonder if my dad would let me do all of the DIY renovations (that I want to do to our house) on the office…

When we made it home we had lunch while we watched Inside The NFL. Then I was off to the barn. Then when I got back home I did dishes (even though my rope burn hurt like crazy whenever the hot water touched it) and laundry. Now I am going to go relax or do something before we get started on dinner.

I hope your Thursday was better than mine!

When you are presented with a tough situation do you tend to run away and ignore it or do stand up/fight it?


6 thoughts on “When The Going Gets Tough…

  1. Oh no! Sorry to hear how it went. Just going back to compare the new saddle to the one you borrowed, it looks like you popped this one on further forward which maybe upset him? It’s a gorgeous saddle though, the colour suits him!

    • Thanks! You might be right. I thought I let the saddle settle into place before I tightened the girth, but tomorrow I will set it a little further back. It is a close contact saddle and the one I borrowed was an all purpose. I’m not sure if that makes it appear like it is sitting to far forward or not? But I hope you are right because I’d rather he act bad because he was uncomfortable than him acting bad just because he could!

  2. Well I know nothing about horses but I won’t let that stop me from sharing my thoughts! Anytime we are faced with something new we are also going to experience some level of anxiety…apparently this is is true for horses as well. Secondly there is absolutely nothing wrong with being hopeful and expecting the best outcome possible. Perhaps you were a bit unrealistic in your expectation for immediate success but I see nothing inherently wrong with being hopeful in regard to any life situation…for example you can be hopeful in improving your health (weight, stamina, strength etc.) and as you know your improvement has come in small increments and not in one gigantic step. So squelch your tendency to beat yourself up about your expectations NOW! And finally…how old does a box of Cheerios have to be in order to be expired? Gotta get your folks to eat more Cheerios with you. oh and nice rope burn! Makes you look like a real wrangler!

    • Just call me Wrangler Crum! Thanks for the input! I will stop beating myself up if things don’t go how I was hoping. The unexpected is what makes life interesting, right?

  3. I will send an extra pair of riding gloves with mad when she comes down in a few short weeks. It will help. You are doing the right thing with V. Keep asking of him, be very clear with ur cues, and walking for the first day in the new saddle both directions will be fine. He wanted to just show off, silly boy. Hang in there and so very glad you had a good pizza night. Oh, btw we heard a bear walking in out top pasture last night. Ugh. I hate that. Love u

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