Remembering Old Dreams

It’s Friday Eve! Have fun plans for your Friday and weekend? I do! But you are going to have to wait and be surprised, mwahahaha! I am feeling a little blah right now, but I am just going to blame being tired from the long day I had since I am trying to no longer feel discouraged by food. Key work: trying. It’s harder than it sounds, but I am doing it because food is NOT scary and it IS good for me.

I have been thinking about an old dream of mine lately. I have always, always, always loved horses. When I was little it was a dream of mine to be a horse trainer. Amber mentioned to my mom a ranch that that teaches everything you need to know about training horses. I instantly loved the idea of that! It got me really motivated to get healthy again so I could consider doing that. Of course I need a lot more information about it first. So I am going to try not to get too excited about it haha. I feel like I have three general career ideas that would be my dream thing to do: something with horses (horse trainer, equine massage therapist, or something along those line), personal trainer (I like anatomy and have always been good at it), or something food related (because let’s face it, even though I am recovering from anorexia, food is still fun). But I am loving the idea of being a horse trainer because I’ve never been a big “people person.” Although, I have gotten a lot better at being around and talking to people more often. But how cool would being a horse trainer be? I can’t wait to hear more about this ranch from Amber 🙂

On another note, let me quickly rehash last night. Dinner was salad topped with fries and chicken. Night snack was the other Justin’s peanut butter cup and some ice cream. ImageImageIt was a little hard for me to fall asleep, but once I did I slept fairly well. I was up nice and early this morning to have breakfast with my mom. We had granola and milk, toast, and orange juice. Mary told me about sunflower butter, and I was super intrigued so I just had to try it when I saw it at Whole Foods. It tastes exactly like sunflower seeds! Something different from the usual peanut or almond butter on toast. ImageIt was really smooth and creamy, too. After breakfast I headed out to the barn to take care of Vinnie. The combination of me being in a hurry and still being tired made me completely scatterbrained because I accidentally put on flip flops instead of my boots and I didn’t realize it till I was half way to the barn. Woops. Oh well, I didn’t get stepped on so I got away with it. When I got to the barn Vinnie had just been fed, so I decided to prep everything for his hoof while he finished eating. While I was in the tack room I heard him galloping off to the grass in the front pasture. He must be feeling so much better. YAYYY! 🙂 After I took care of him and gave him his treats I hurried home to get showered and ready to go to work. I packed an apple and trail mix that I ate while I did inventory on some novelty items with my boss. My boss was being very considerate and took us all out to lunch and he wanted to make sure that I was ok with the place that we were going. I told him that anywhere was good with me. I realized that I need to get used to eating at places where other people want to eat. I don’t like being difficult and I wasn’t about to let this eating disorder get in the way of me enjoying my coworkers and good food at lunch. We went to Mellow Mushroom. I was risky and split a buffalo chicken pizza with two of the guys. I used to order the buffalo chicken all the time at Mellow Mushroom, so I went with something that I used to eat and enjoyed (and it never hurt me before because I was never overweight). I ate about 1 3/4 slices of it and it was just as good as I remembered it. ImageI did my best to believe that I was 100% comfortable eating it and being around a group of people that I don’t eat with. I would say I was pretty darn successful! After lunch I helped to prep the store for those working tomorrow to do inventory. I made tons of bar codes for every style of hat in the store. I was on my feet the majority of the day so I was super happy to leave at 5:20 instead of 6 haha. When I got home I ate the bagel and cream cheese that I packed and brought with me to work (incase I was there for an afternoon snack). ImageI ate it faster than I normally would have and I kind of surprised myself by that haha. I did a lot of relaxing and talking with my mom and looking at animals and home decor on Pinterest before fixing my dinner. My mom brought home a few things from Costco, such as store prepared chicken alfredo, hot wings, and cookies. She also brought me a cookies and cream Hershey’s bar. I think I was feeling a little overwhelmed by the cookies and chocolate. I felt my anxiety increase a little especially with the idea of alfredo for dinner. I have never really like alfredo all that much and it just sounded really heavy to me. My parents told me that I didn’t have to eat it and that there were plenty of other things I could eat. I looked at my bubbles and figured out what I needed to fill in so I went with something easy to figure out and prepare. I heated up some Bertolli penne chicken parmesan in the skillet and added a huge handful of spinach since I didn’t have any veggies today. ImageIt was yummy for a frozen fix. I have some leftovers that I will probably eat sometime tomorrow, probably for lunch if I happen to be at home. I am not sure yet on what my snack will be tonight. Maybe I will be feeling brave enough for a Costco cookie…

Tomorrow the farrier is coming out to the barn at 10 so I will be at the barn for a good bit tomorrow. Then I don’t have anything else planned for the rest of the day. My dad will be home and if he is feeling any better maybe him and I will go do something fun! Or we will just sit on the couch and watch tv together. Either one would be just fine with me haha.

Now, for those of you who might be new readers and are looking for a quick jump to the beginning of my journey, I hope that I am technologically savvy enough to come up with a solution! Try clicking here to view my first post! Did it work? If so, maybe you would like to check out a few randomly picked other posts of mine:

Two for Tuesday

Remain Pausitive

Am I Weird? Yes. Do I Care? Nope!

Talking to Strangers

Now I am off to relax for the rest of the night! Adios!

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One thought on “Remembering Old Dreams

  1. Hm..love of animals and a love for anatomy…I’m tellin ya you should think of going back to school and being a vet! Of course you can do the barn / training thing in the short term but seriously I believe you are more gifted academically than you are giving yourself credit for. Can one make a living being a farrier down there?

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