Hi there! Today’s session with Mary went sooo well, but first let me tell you about the rest of my day. My mom woke me up to get ready to go to work with her and we ate breakfast before hitting the road. She said she was having granola and toast, so I followed suit. She measure out my granola and I realized how skewed my portion sizes are. She gave me half a cup, but to me it looked like so much more. Weird. I topped it with some blueberries and cinnamon and put raspberry jam on my toast.
Back to today. I packed a Greek yogurt and a chewy bar for snack but I only got around to eating the yogurt. At school I mainly worked on making new signs for the entrance doors and for all the classroom doors. Duke students were there as part of their community volunteering so we made them do all the hard stuff haha. Before I knew it, it was time for lunch. My mom and I just got the hot bar at Whole Foods. It was yummy, but I think I liked what I got last time better.
I think I was struggling a little, but I did my best! Then it was time for my appointment with Mary. I talked about how I have been having a hard time the past two days and have been battling my fear. We talked about how I still wasn’t eating everything that I wanted to eat because I was too worried about my bubbles in my meal plan. Mary said that that’s because it was time to add more bubbles! We worked on making a new plan and I told her about my spinner idea for when I can’t decide on a meal or snack. She actually brought me the supplies so I could make it. We talked about how it was important to eat the things I used to eat, and to make sure that I am eating my sides if I get a sandwich, for example. We talked about the upcoming trip to Baltimore and how I am going to work with that. She helped me realize that my fears are all wrong and false and that I should just treat the eating disorder as an annoying little boy who is invading my room and destroying everything. She asked me what I would do in that situation and I told her I would probably yell at the boy to cut it out! She said that’s what I need to do with the voice. I need to forget about my fears and she reminded me of all the wonderful things I will be able to do again when I am healthy, like ride my horse and explore new activities and places! I told her that I used to own the fact that I could down a huge bacon cheeseburger along with all the fries it came with and that I wanted to get back to that mentality. She asked me if I was frustrated at all, and I told her that I was, especially when I realize how hard it is for me to make decisions about what I want. I am so ready to be done with Eduardo! Time to kick him where it hurts so I can get back up on that horse!
After my wonderful and inspiring session with Mary my mom and I ran to target really quick to pick up a few things we probably didn’t need like fingernail polish and clothes and a pair of shoes haha. I also got my afternoon snack from the deli section. It was just a little snack package of berries, almonds, cheese and crackers. It has been such a long time since I have had crackers like that. It was a really tasty snack.
He was still a little lame, but it was mostly noticeable when I was leading him down the little hill to put him back out in the pasture. I hope this is just a small temporary thing 😦 When I got home I did a whole lotta nothin’ haha. It’s a little after 9:15 and I am waiting for my parents to come home from dinner. The original plan was for them to just get Noodles & Company to bring home, but they were closed. Wahhhh. My mom asked if Chinese was alright and since I am going to be fearless from now on, I am going for it! I told her she could decide what to order. This will only help me get to where I need to be faster!
My mom told me my dad needs my help tomorrow at his office so it looks like I will get to spend the day with him again 🙂 I am excited to spend more time with him, even if we both will be working on separate things. Hope everyone had a great Tuesday and is ready to knock out Wednesday!