Time To Put This Fear To Rest

Today was a full day! I woke up and my mom had already made breakfast. I think she just had to try and one up my dad because he made me breakfast yesterday. She made blueberry pancakes that we topped with Greek yogurt and sliced banana. It was very filling. She copied my dad and poured me a glass of milk. I feel like it was forced upon me but I didn’t feel like starting the day off with a battle.

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After breakfast we did a few chores around the house before going out to the barn. Vinnie seemed to be doing much better since we got him some bute to help with his lameness. He enjoyed his grooming and then we did a little joint testing to try and figure out where his pain was coming from. We think it might be in his fetlock and I’m wondering if it is the beginning of arthritis. He was more than happy to chow down on the carrots I brought for him. He was literally foaming at the mouth while eating them haha. We talked to Renee for a while once we were done with Vinnie. It is always so entertaining to talk with her. We end up talking about everything it seems like. She really makes me want to gain weight so I can start riding again! I miss going to shows and feeling empowered up on a horse. Renee also tells the best (and craziest/funniest) stories! We spent the whole morning out at the barn and when we got home I made a quick snack, even though it was noon haha. I made a queso laughing cow and spinach quesadilla that I topped with a little salsa.

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Love, love, love the spice of that cheese and the salsa. I got a quick shower and did some laundry after my snack. I also prepared some overnight oatmeal for tomorrow morning. At about 2:20 I had my lunch, which was just a frozen meal. Quick and easy, but these Lean Cuisine panini things are great for when you want a warm and flavorful sandwich but when you are lacking creativity with cooking. I had the southwest chicken panini.

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Work time rolled around so I was off to the Bulls. The game actually went by fast to me. I was beyond thrilled that we managed to get through the game without any rain delays, even though it was raining… And thundering… On break I had a blueberry Greek yogurt. When I was leaving work my sister called me. We haven’t talked in a while so it was really nice to catch up with her as I was driving home. When I got home I heated up yet another frozen meal for dinner. Chicken pot pie.

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As I ate my dinner I talked to my mom. I mentioned that I think another one of the things I fear is the future and what is going to happen when I am recovered. I think I am scared of getting sucked into something that doesn’t make me happy. I think the unknown just gives me anxiety. I don’t want to be scared of the unknown though. I should think about all of the fun things I know I will be able to do once I am recovered. I have plenty of time to think about what else I want to do when I am healthy. After watching a little tv my mom told me it was dessert time. I ate another pumpkin brownie with a little cinnamon brown sugar popcorn.

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When I finished my brownie and popcorn I had a small moment of feeling a little upset with myself. I felt like I really over did it in the small amount of time with the pot pie and dessert. But then I told myself that it was ok, it is helping me to get better and I should fear being healthy.
Tomorrow I am spending the day at my mom’s school. She said she has some projects for me, so I’m sure it’ll be another productive day!

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3 thoughts on “Time To Put This Fear To Rest

  1. Hey Beth..what happened after you drank the milk? Answer: Nothing!!!!! Stop worrying about the calories..you are fine, and will be fine. As to the future…you’re no different than the rest of us…you’ll do the best you can, make the best decisions you can at the time you have to make them. The exciting thing is that you get to decide what you want to study, the type of work that excites you and where you would like to be in life…and if you don’t get this message ..I;m sending down Madelyne to give you the pep talk…I can think of no one better than she when she gets on her high horse (and I’m not talking about Saint) about making decisions and doing your thing! I m glad you like the pumpkin brownies..but you ‘ve been eating them for a week!! Lets get that Peanut Buster Parfait from DQ on the menu! Love ya

    • Thanks, that’s just the pep talk I needed 🙂 Madelyne would definitely be able to give me an example of doing her own thing, she has always been so strong and powerful and willing to do what she truly wants to do. Love ya too!

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