Hello, hello, hello! So don’t be fooled by the title, yesterday evening’s failures were not bad things, they were funny really. After my afternoon of boredom, my mom finally made it home and we enjoyed a snack together. I tried my new Kashi vanilla oatmeal (I eat more than Kashi products, I promise!) and a new protein drink I got to try. The drink definitely took some getting used to. I am still acquiring a taste for coconut! Then I suggested we go out to the barn to see Vinnie. It has been about a week since we made it out there since it has been non stop raining. His mane was tangled beyond repair and he looked hot and sweaty so I decided to bathe him to get some of that sweat (and salt) off of him and to try and work out the knots goin’ on in his hairdo. My mom was a nervous wreck the whole time I was bathing him because he wasn’t standing still. She needs to have a little more faith in my Vinnie because he was a good ol’ boy! Then comes the fail… all my hard work ruined! I did have a great video of Vinnie rolling in the grass/dirt that I was going to share, but I just can’t seem to figure out how to attach it. Wahhh 😦 Sorry guys.
Next fail of the night: The recipe we put in the crock pot for arroz con queso. It was not so yummy tasting. I thought it would have turned out a little creamier because of the cheese. I think it was just dried out? Not a winner, so no recipe for that one… The chicken wasn’t too terrible though. My mom keeps saying “What happened, why can’t I cook anymore?!” I don’t know what’s going on with her cooking haha. All of us then did some of our nightly relaxing and we watched a show about some of the nicest RV’s that have been custom made. There are some MASIVE ones out there. Unbelievable. When I got my fill of RV’s I turned to Triple D to catch the new episode. While I watched that I had my snack. I tried the V8 Splash pound cake I made and I put a scoop of Ben and Jerry’s strawberry shortcake froyo on top of it. It was a delicious combination of fruity sweetness. I struggled a little bit with the idea of eating sweets, but I downed it all, so it was a success. Next time I have a piece of the pound cake I am going to try toasting it! Shout out to my Uncle Bill for the suggestion!
I slept on the couch again last night because I had my sheets and comforter in the wash and I was too lazy to make my bed. I almost think I sleep better on the couch anyways. This morning when I woke up I started on another one of my little projects. I was having a difficult time deciding what I wanted for breakfast, so I just copied my mom and had a simple breakfast of cereal, toast, and a smoothie. The smoothie is the usual almond milk, banana, blueberry and cinnamon smoothie. I had a big bowl of Cheerios sprinkled with a little Kashi granola (there I go with the Kashi again… haha) and a piece of toast with almond butter. Nicole and Barefoot even joined us for our breakfast sit down. My morning was then spent doing dishes, a little laundry, and then being a couch potato. I lost track of time and had to quickly get ready for my lunch with my friend, Josh. I am trying to do what Meryl, my therapist, and I talked about: working on being more social and making connections with people.
It was nice to get out of the house and catch up with an old friend. I took him to Elmo’s Diner because I remembered (from my lunch there with my mom last week) that they have a wide variety of foods to choose from. I was so proud of myself for venturing out of my comfort zone and eating with a friend. I even picked what I wanted in a reasonable amount of time! I decided to order the Greek Grilled Cheese. It was pita bread with american and feta cheese, cucumbers, tomato, onion, and lettuce. I got it with applesauce instead of fries. I know my nutritionist would have told me to get the fries if she were there, but I felt comfortable with the applesauce. I would order that again, no doubt! I didn’t eat all of it, but I am not focusing on that, I am focusing on the fact that I was able to go to lunch with a friend and not have a melt down! After lunch I drove Josh through downtown Durham, mainly just to show him where Dogstar is. If you don’t know already, Dogstar is where my mom and I got our bow and arrow tattoos 🙂 Then I dropped Josh back off at his house and then went home. It was a scorcher outside today, so I plopped down on the nice cool couch. The Directv wasn’t working so I had to resort to Netflix for my entertainment. I should really start a new book… it’s unhealthy how much tv I watch! I have a few on hand I need to read, but if anyone has suggestions for a book you have recently read and fell in love with, I would love to add it to my reading list!
Snack time rolled around when my mom got home from work. I had a very hard time deciding what I wanted to eat. It seems like one easy decision is followed by a difficult one. Just goes to show how recovery is one crazy roller coaster ride. I eventually made a decision though! I cooked up an egg in my mini omelet maker while I spread a queso laughing cow on a whole wheat tortilla and put some spinach on it. I then slid the egg on the wrap and topped it all with some fresh ground hot and spicy seasoning. Currently I am now sitting in the lobby of the therapist’s office at Duke. My parents have their parent group meeting tonight and they wanted me to ride with them so we could go out for dinner afterwards. We didn’t have anything prepared at home and they didn’t want to get take out because then we wouldn’t be eating until very late like last Tuesday. I think my dad wants to go to Satisfactions. I am a little nervous. I know I shouldn’t be, I should be excited to eat out with both my parents. I just have to tell myself that it will be fun and relaxing! Nothing should be stressful about it. I should cherish these opportunities and look at them as little happiness boosters. Putting these thoughts into action are easier said than done, but it is my next goal. Coming with my parents tonight presented me with another challenge that can get me one step closer if I allow it to. I am so glad that I did come because I got to meet some of the wonderful people that my parents always mention from their group session 🙂 And I got to type up my blog, which is always one of my favorite parts of the day!
I know I have big things in store for me! Keeping my stone from Mary around my neck is still a great reminder of everything I want to work towards. It reminds me that I want to be a strong, fun, loving person and that I have the best people around me providing support. Tonight, no matter where we end up eating, I am going to try and order what looks really good to me. I am going to try and let go of the desire to be the healthiest at the table by ordering the lightest “healthy” meal I can find. It will be difficult, but possible!