Another late night post coming at you! Today (yesterday?… the 3rd, however you want to classify it) was a really busy day. I woke up and was feeling good. I took Frisco on her morning walk and then came back on for breakfast. That is when everything spiraled downward… I don’t know what it was. It was just another challenge that I had to face to help me learn from this experience. So breakfast was an egg burrito/wrap. I think I was freaking out because my mom made it and she didn’t really make it how I was imagining so those evil thoughts just came crashing over me. Breakfast is really the only meal I get to be creative with, especially at home, so I think I was just upset that I didn’t get to make this new recipe for myself exactly how I imagined. It just put me in a bad mood. Which I apologized for later. But anyways, here’s breakfast: And that is a strawberry banana smoothie thing my mom bought. It was basically liquid yogurt. After breakfast I rushed to get ready for work and then headed into the Bulls! I worked on cleaning and organizing. My mom brought me lunch that I nibbled at while I worked on refolding and putting size labels on shirts. Turkey sandwich and greek yogurt (blueberry pomegranate… yummo!) from Whole Foods. I worked until it was time for me to go to my appointment with my nutritionist at 4. It was such I good meeting! We talked a lot about the thoughts I have whenever I am struggling and what I can do to counteract those thoughts or what I can do the next time I am in a similar situation. She also said something that really moved me. We were talking about one of my fears of not knowing what exactly is going in all of my food and how I developed this eating disorder out of needing to feel in control of my life. Then Mary said “The beauty in life is not knowing. It’s an adventure.” She also spoke about how life is full of joy and sadness and those things often occur together. This eating disorder has given me the false sense of control over my life and in a way it has become a badge that I wear to identify myself. After my session today I have learned that I don’t need to be starving in order to have an identity.
When I got home after my appointment I had a quick snack (a Kind bar) and then helped my mom get started on dinner. We had pork chops, brown rice, brussels sprouts and corn and lima beans. We then made the quick decision to go see The Heat again, this time with my mom. Such a funny movie! Hysterical. My bedtime snack was a bowl of cheerios. Frisco joined me on my bed tonight as I worked on this post. She is a little ball of energy! I hope everyone has an amazing Fourth of July!