Last night, after driving around for a while, we finally found Downtown! It started off not looking so great because the outskirts of Greenville are a little ghetto… but the downtown area was VERY nice and so adorable! I didn’t want to leave. Once we found parking we walked to an outdoor patio area of a restaurant because a band was playing. Everyone there had their dogs with them! It was great to just sit there and listen to music and watch all the dogs. For dinner we checked out the menu at a few places. I was feeling strong, but couldn’t make a decision about where to eat. We ended up eating at Sharkey’s Pub. The outdoor seating was actually very nice. It was the perfect temperature and the people watching was very entertaining. For an appetizer we had chicken nachos. They were huge! For dinner I ordered a chicken caesar wrap and ate about half of it. It wasn’t anything spectacular but It was still good. I felt a little uneasy after eating a few of the nachos but I think I still did a good job overall with eating. My dad ordered a Philly sandwich and my mom ordered a chicken Philly. Everything was huge! They definitely didn’t rip you off on portion size at Sharkey’s. Last night was so much fun! We all decided we will have to make another trip here sometime to explore more of the downtown scene. After driving past like 5 Waffle Houses on the way to downtown last night I think my dad had a major craving for some Waffle House this morning. That was a mistake. I was able to order something comfortably though so that was a success! I just ordered an egg and oatmeal. They gave me two eggs, both very undercooked so I just ate my oatmeal. They got a few things wrong on our order and gave my dad a dirty water cup. NASTY! But I didn’t have high expectations to begin with… My oatmeal was nice and hot though. Glad that is out of my dad’s system! Hahaha!
So at my counseling session yesterday I made a metaphor for what I was hoping recovery was going to be like. I said that a month ago I was imagining it being like a light switch and with just a quick flick of the switch I was hoping to turn the eating disorder off. After being in recovery for a while now, I have learned that it doesn’t happen like that. Instead it is a process, and the thing that first popped in my head to compare it to (how it feels to me) was that it was like gears that aren’t turning properly. They are all rusted and the grooves aren’t lined up so its just not running smoothly. Or there are gears somewhere and something is jammed in between them, keeping them from functioning properly. We also discussed my happiness and how I am trying to improve it because this eating disorder has really brought me down, just because it is a constant struggle. While I have all of these motivations that keep me going, they are all things that will happen in the future. I need to keep those in mind, but I also need to focus on the now. I found two great passages from “The Happiness Makeover” by M.J. Ryan that do a wonderful representation of how I need to view the future, the present, and myself in order to be happy.
“Happiness is it’s own reward, but it doesn’t stop there. Happy people are accepting of themselves, so they don’t spend precious time in regret. They accept others, too, so are free to love people as they are, rather than expending energy trying to do a repair job on everyone in sight. They look positively to the future so they don’t spend a lot of time in worry or fear. They are engaged with life as a wonderful adventure in which they are here to give their best.”
“Happiness must be experienced in this moment or risk never being felt at all. While we can get nostalgic for the past –oh, I used to be so happy– or wistful about the future –someday I will be happy– it is now, in this very moment, that we must create the only happiness that we can count on.”
Great quotes, right? They really spoke to me, and maybe they even touched you!
We are currently en route to Chattanooga! I am so excited to get there. I think we are going to the Lookouts game tonight so it should be another fun night! I can’t wait to see my sister!!!!