National Pink Day!

I have on my pink norts today to celebrate National Pink Day! It’s a total coincidence though… Three minutes ago I had no idea what today was. This morning started off very rocky. I had a blueberry smoothie with a bagel thin with hazelnut butter and raspberry jam. I was very satisfied with this until my dad put a lara bar in front of me and said I had to eat that too. I struggled a lot with that. But lets not relive that particular moment… My mom and I then watched Tripping out with Alie and Georgia before my mom made me go read part of a book that she thought would really help me. I then made a list of some different things for me to remember to help me stay motivated. ImageI was a little bit scared about lunch, but I was able to get over it and eat everything I was supposed to. I had the mixture of sweet potato, brussels sprouts, chicken sausage and garlic and herb laughing cow that I love so much. 🙂 After lunch I helped my mom clean out her closet and dresser and then I did my own closet and dresser. Look at how many bags! It felt good to donate that much to Goodwill. ImageWhen we got back from running into town to drop those off it was time for my snack. The dreaded snack… Scary, but I told myself I had no choice and I thought of my list of motivators. This wasn’t my favorite snack an it was really intimidating but I pushed through it. ImageFor dinner my mom wants to go out for Mexican. Hopefully I will be able to hold myself together to enjoy it.

So I have been thinking a lot about my future and what exactly I want to do with it. For some reason I feel like I just have to have everything planned out so my brain has been non stop brainstorming. I think that might be part of the reason I am unable to get a full night’s sleep. I wake up randomly and start thinking about my plans and then I just can’t ever seem to go back to sleep. As I have mentioned before I am taking the semester off in the fall. I am debating if I even want to go back after that. I just became so unhappy and I never really had that many experiences that really stand out as being a time filled with extreme joy. I isolated myself and fell into bad habits. I’m just not sure I want to go back to that. There are so many things that I want to do for myself and for others outside of getting an education. I have always put my education first and all it seems to have given me is this situation. I want to live and experience new things. I want to learn how to live a healthy life, including healthy ways to exercise and eat (I have thought about becoming a certified personal trainer). I just am just ready to live a fearless life. I wish it could all be instant because this is the most difficult thing I have ever dealt with. I am sick of it and yet I can’t let it go. So much to work on… 

I just have to tell myself to STAY POSITIVE 🙂 Ok, rant over haha! Have a happy National Pink Day!

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